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Jackie

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*stolen from Rachel* [Jun. 5th, 2008|10:21 am]
1. One book that changed your life.
"The Once and Future King" by T.H. White. That book will always be my favourite.

2. One book that you've read more than once.
Honestly, because I read so fast, I read almost all of my books at least twice. But I think most recently, I've read "Pride and Prejudice" three times in the past year and a half or so.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island.
Hmm. Would it be weird to say The Bible? Not for religious reasons or anything, but it would take a LONG time to get through, and it would make for some good inspiration for writing my own stories.

4. One book that made you laugh.
"Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff" by Christopher Moore. AMAZINGLY funny.

5. One book that made you cry.
I actually think the last book I cried during was "Half Blood Prince" during the third time I read it, at Dumbledore's funeral. So unbelievably touching.

6. One book that you wish you had written.
I think I have to agree with Rachel and say Pride and Prejudice, but, just to be different, I'll say Hamlet. Although, no one could have written it like Shakespeare.

7. One book that you wish had never been written.
Moby Dick. 100% fucking Moby fucking Dick.

8. One book you're currently reading.
I just finished The Other Boleyn Girl, The Boleyn Inheritance, and the Constant Princess. Isn't that good enough???

9. One book you've been meaning to read.
Ulysses. It's my goal for the summer.


Bonus question: What book scared you the most?
1984. The harrowing scene at the end is absolutely terrifying and I'm still petrified of rats.
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New. [May. 19th, 2008|11:03 pm]
I have a new blog.

http://childishphilosophy.blogspot.com/
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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2008|06:18 pm]
I haven't written in forever (and ever!).

I went to Florida, aka Disney World, for spring break, in case anyone was wondering. I really, truly did not want to come home. I am currently attempting to find a way back there this summer, but, unless free dining is offered, it's not going to happen. But, then I *will* go in January, just you watch. :)

This semester is flying by. I'm almost a senior. It's remotely terrifying.

I need a place to live.
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These are fun. [Feb. 26th, 2008|12:35 pm]
Seeing as we haven't done one of these in a while, I figured I'd do it.


Step 1. Put your ipod (or itunes) on shuffle.
Step 2. Post two lines from the first 15 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song may be.
Step 3. Strike through the songs when someone guesses BOTH ARTIST AND TRACK NAME CORRECTLY
Step 4. for those who are guessing, looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5. If you like the game, post your own.

1. "I really like Drew Carey/And I'd love to see the Rock n' Roll hall of fame."

2. "Oh just the scent of you it makes me hurt/ So how's it you that makes me better"

3. "She's hip, so cool/ I'm gonna get her after school."

4. "You're in control just like a child/ And now I'm dancing"

5. "But baby you know I'd be broke without it/How much for your love?"

6. "With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's/ And you?"

7. "So I took your hand and we figured out that/ When the tide comes I'd take you away."

8. "Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy's cliche/ And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky"

9. "Sexy lady I wanna see you bare your soul/ If you think you're so hot then baby show me whatcha got"

10. " But now I know better by your fingers in his hair/ I'll forgive you for what you done, if you say that I'm the one"

11. A doctor's bill, a lawyer bill, another cute, cheap thrill/ You know you love 'em if you put 'em in your will"

12. "The arch of my back, the sole of my feet/ Lately I've been noticing the beautiful me."

13. "You'll always find him, working at the gym/ At the Camelot Y-M-C-A!"

14. "I want to vanish inside your kiss/ Every day I love you more and more."

15. "Our dreams, and they are made out of real things/ Like a, shoebox of photographs"


I think I'm a stereotypical gay man.
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(no subject) [Feb. 21st, 2008|04:01 pm]
I'M GOING TO FLORIDA FOR SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!


Hellloooo Toy Story Mania, and refurbished Spaceship Earth and Haunted Mansion!!!

Kickass, bitches.
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(no subject) [Feb. 13th, 2008|12:05 am]
I haven't posted a real entry in a very, very long time, and so I figured I might as well update instead of reading more Chaucer. Because, really, who wants to read Middle English at 12:30am?

School is going okay. I think I have more than a ton of work to do this semester, and I'm not very happy with that. This is also a 26 hour work week for me, and so, as you may or may not have guessed, dearest LJ, I'm quite tired this week. But, the week will be over soon enough, and all will be well again.

I think my favorite class is, truth be told, my senior seminar. Our topic is "love and class in 19th century British literature" so we're reading some of my favorite books, like Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, and Jane Eyre. We just finished Pride and Prejudice, and I think I love that book more than life. I think it's the subdued, very privatized expression of feeling that makes it more than romantic. It's a kind of love that's not seen today; it's quiet, it's not very passionate, but, at the same time, its quietness makes it loud.

I still hate Bob's, but that's nothing new and so I won't dwell on it. I miss Waterford and all the people there like CRAZY though.

I might be going to Florida for spring break to visit my grandparents and the Magic Kingdom. It's only the fourth week of school, and I already feel absolutely desperate for a break. I'm getting older and older every single day, honestly.

Oh well. Off to read some Chaucer and then bed, I suppose. I'm such a wild college kid, no?
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Hey, I Update my LJ! [Feb. 6th, 2008|02:30 am]
( Who comments the most on this journal? )
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Does he wear your favorite color just to match your eyes? [Dec. 23rd, 2007|06:01 pm]
I read my friends' livejournals more than I post, so I figured I'd post something almost worth reading.

I've been home from school for about a week now, and it's been okay. I've been working a lot at Bob's, which is to be expected because it *is* Christmastime. I've been at my mom's, and she's... herself. I'm sure you all know what I mean by that. Oh, and I saw "Enchanted" with my grammy, and I am currently OBSESSED. It's a little sad, but there you go. It was amazing. An absolutely lovely movie.

I went shopping with my dad today. And it wasn't painful. Cue the dramatic music here.

I miss having an almost stable relationship with my dad, as opposed to one that's currently in complete shambles. Le sigh.

It's almost Christmas. What did you ask santa for for Christmas, LJ?
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Help a gal out, would ya? [Dec. 12th, 2007|09:41 pm]
So, I have this credit card. And if I get people to sign up for my credit card, they give me $100 per person approved. The person who gets approved doesn't even have to use it and can just cancel it right away if he or she wishes to. There's no annual fee or anything--- it's a student card.

SOOO, if you're interested, please, please, please help me out!!! I can get up to $500 in credits, and that's a *ton* of money for me. If you're interested, PLEASE comment!!!! 

Thank you! <3
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(no subject) [Nov. 28th, 2007|07:47 pm]
Rest in Peace, Professor Mark Johnston.
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When I grow up... [Nov. 12th, 2007|12:39 am]
[mood | melancholy]
[music |The latest Backstreet Boys CD]

If you couldn't guess, dearest livejournal, my father and I got into yet another argument. An especially bad one this time.

Actually, I take that back. The argument itself wasn't that bad, and I guess the actual argument wasn't that bad. My father said something--- nothing big, mind you--- that just set me off and I told him everything I've been feeling for the past six months or so, peppered with some "fuckings." See, he said something like "we'll take care of everything" or something in reference to himself and Chris' mom. And, just the context it was in... it made me feel like they've begun viewing Chris and I as brother and sisters. It felt perverse, and I just couldn't contain myself anymore.

See, I'm sick of avoiding it. It's that damned elephant in the center of the room. We keep walking around it, but it's still there, and it's not going away. I can't be fake anymore. It takes too much effort; too much emotional strain on myself. If there's one thing I've learned since I've entered college, it's that I have to be real and true to myself. I do not want to be this unstable little girl I once was; I want to be strong and independent. Just biting my tongue about this situation makes me weak, and I don't want to be weak anymore.

Anyway, so I pretty much blew up at my dad, but I didn't say anything... exceptionally mean to him. I really don't think anything I said was MEAN, I just told him how I felt. I told him I was sick of pretending everything was okay, I told him how I was sick of dealing with this situation and I kept repeating "I guess everything is fine as long as you're happy, right?" I mentioned how I have to wait outside in the cold and the dark for the shuttle when I get out of work because we don't have a car; I mentioned how I don't have any food because I can't get to the grocery store; and I mentioned how I have to work 30 hours a week and am failing a class because of it (I have A's in everything else though) just so Chris and I can have some sort of semblance of a normal, stable life here. And then I talked about how he'd just ignore everything I said and not speak to me for another six months just like he did before, and I probably said he didn't care or whatever--- I was just going off and I don't remember any of my exact words. And all he said was "nice."

But then, then Chris' mom sent me a text message that said something to the effect of "I thought you loved your dad? We are happy and you just need to accept it." Okay, for one, here she TOTALLY CROSSED THE LINE! If I want to tell my dad how I feel and fight with MY OWN FATHER, then that is MY RIGHT. He is my dad, I am allowed to argue with him, thank you very,very much. So I sent a rather pleasant message back to her in which I may or may not have called her a fucking cunt who should stay out of my life.

Was that immature? Oh, yes, completely. Should I have said it? No, of course not. I should have said something much more intelligent. Was I so mad that I was shaking? Yes, yes, I was. But I don't regret it? And do you know why, my dearest web ranting source? Because an hour later my dad sent me a text message that said, simply, "Cunts." And to that, I replied "Mature." So, pretty much anything either one of them could have said to me about how wrong I was has been refuted.

But my dad and I haven't fought like this since I was 16 and his alcoholism was at its apex.

See, I've changed though. I'm not that 16 year old craving for acceptance from everyone. I don't care who accepts me. I don't love as many people as I did back then, but I also don't hurt as much. So I guess it's a win-win situation. Or maybe it's a lose-lose. I'd like it if my dad accepted me; I'd like it if he would at least ask me what classes I'm taking; what I'm doing in school; what I want to do when I grow up, but he's not going to because he just doesn't care. And that's okay. Because I can't care anymore.

I'm not going to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving because he'll be there. I already bought him a Christmas present, so I'll still give it to him--- I guess I'll mail it to him or something?--- but I certainly won't ask for, or expect anything, in return. The only members of my family that I really care about these days are my grandparents, so I just hope they don't get too mad at me.

Sometimes though, especially right now, I just want to pack up a pair of jeans, a few t-shirts, a stuffed animal, and a copy of Deathly Hallows and just leave. Just run away to wherever, and see if anyone but Chris noticed. I want to lose myself in the nighttime stars and moonlight, and maybe, just maybe, it won't hurt so much there. I want to do something to myself to hurt myself so that I end up in the hospital and see if anyone shows up. I want to drop out of school, dye my hair pink, and live in a bus in Las Vegas for 6 months just to see if anyone comes looking for me.

But I won't. I'll finish my book review for history; I'll finish my project for SC101; I'll write a paper about a play; and I'll write a paper about Ishmael's unification of self. Because that's what I do. I'm smart, stable, and sober.

At least, I think I am.
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(no subject) [Nov. 10th, 2007|05:24 pm]
So I really, really, really hate my life.

Probably more to follow. Just thought you might like to know.
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(no subject) [Nov. 3rd, 2007|10:10 am]
Today feels like the beginning of Moby Dick. Ishmael says he goes to sea whenever he feels "dreary November in his soul," and it's a dreary November day. And I think I'm beginning to feel it in my soul, too.

I wish I loved going home like everyone else here. All of my friends are always so excited to see their parents, and their pets, and their friends, and so on and so forth. While I do have a few friends that I miss, I don't really miss anything else besides Thunder. My grandparents come here to see me, which is awesome, and I could care less if I see my parents because they could care less if they see me.

I wish I had a strong relationship with even one of my parents, but I don't. We all know what goes on with my father, and my mother is just too... childish for me to have a good relationship with her. She's immature, and, honestly, dumb, and I just can't stand speaking to her most of the time. I wish I was from a strong household like all the other spoiled rich kids from this school, but I guess I just have to accept my station in life, right?

I'm doing all right in school. Actually, I'm doing terribly in science, but I'm doing fantastically in everything else. Hence the above allusion to Moby Dick because I define myself by the books I read instead of the events I experience.

Speaking of a book, fun fact: during the Reformation, people who had solely Catholic heritage were called "Pure Blood." That one was for you, HP fans.

I still love tutoring and still hate Bob's. Nothing new there except that I have money, which is pretty sweet.

Chris' car broke down again and we don't know when it's going to be fixed, if ever. So it's shuttling for now, which means the places I---well, we--- can go are quite limited. Which means I won't be going to the mall because I'll have more money, but that also means I can't really get any Christmas shopping done. It also means I might not be going home because I am not going to be trapped at home for 10 days, unable to leave my father's house. Because I would most likely kill myself.

Oh, I picked my classes. I got into everything I wanted except for History of India. Here's my schedule:
M,W,F: SC102 1:00-1:50; EN460[Senior Seminar]:2:00-2:50
T: EN341 [Chaucer and the Medieval Period] 9:30-10:40; HS215 [American Business History] 12:30-1:45; SC102 Lab 2:00-3:50
Th: The two classes mentioned above and HS321 [European History 1914-1945]: 2:00-4:45.

I really don't want to take EuroHistory, but I guess it'll be okay. I'll soldier on, in any case. Or just stalk web adviser to see if anyone drops India.
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Without love, life's like Doris Day at the Apollo [Oct. 23rd, 2007|09:27 am]
I'm always awake early and I'm actually beginning to like it. It's nice to know that I'm one of the few people on campus who's walking around early in the morning who is awake and I can listen to how quiet Quinnipiac is in the morning. It's wet and slightly cool, and no one says anything to ruin the moment.

Not to mention I love coming to the learning center in the morning because no one else is awake and, therefore, I am being paid to write in my livejournal right now.

Life is all right. I saw Kelly Clarkson on Sunday and she was AMAZING!!! She has such a good voice, and she's so pretty, and she seems genuinely nice. I'm just a little bit jealous.

I also went home on Sunday because the concert was at MoSun and, well, why not? Ugs bought me a new phone so now I, along with every other girl at QU, have a pink razr. It's quite pretty and shiny though, and it's one of the updated ones that has the music player. It's pretty spiffy and I am quite happy with it. It also, well, works, unlike my old one.

All right, sooo, it's that time again, and I want to know who I'm exchanging Christmas presents with on LJ. (I assume we're doing gifts Zack--- or we better be, because I already know what I'm getting you for either Christmas or your birthday, and we already decided, Crystal.) SO, if you want a gift from me, or you want to give me a gift, just let me know. Chris, you don't count either.

Oh, and be-te-dubs: SRSLY DUMBLEDORE?!?!
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-stolen from Amie- [Oct. 18th, 2007|12:29 am]

</div>

What's Your Reputation at Hogwarts? (26 different characters)




Goody Two Shoes Gryffindor:House: GryffindorBest Friend(s): Harry, Ron, and Hermione.GryffindorsHarry: Treats you like the sister he never had.Ron: Gets sick of you spending all of your time with Harry. He once wrote you a love note, but decided it wasn't worth his friendship with Harry and threw it out.Hermione: Hates that you get all of the attention and that you have no flaws at all.Oliver Wood: Feels like his knees buckle every time you walk by.Fred and George Weasley: Like to play pranks on you because everyone thinks so highly of you.Seamus Finnigan: Thinks you get too much attention, but doesn't deny that you get his.Neville Longbottom: Is smitten with you because of your high grade in Herbology.Dean Thomas: Is amazed that you aren't cocky after all of the compliments you get everyday.Ginny Weasley: Is jealous of your reputation as "Harry's Girlfriend" even though you don't date.Parvati Patil: Asks you to help her study when she really only wants to find out something about you that she can spread around school. (But she never does).Padma Patil: Follows you around everywhere so that people might think she's your friend.HufflepuffsCedric Diggory: Is sick and tired of you acting like you're better, but is glad to get out of the spotlight every once in a while.RavenclawsCho Chang: Thinks you're a teacher's pet.SlytherinsDraco Malfoy: Dislikes you greatly and makes fun of you quite often.Crabbe: Only knows you as "The Girl Draco Hates."Goyle: Same as Crabbe.Pansy Parkinson: Hates you.Marcus Flint: Hates you because you have the ability to make fun of his Quidditch team since yours beats his every match.Blaise Zabini: Doesn't bother getting worked up over you (but still dislikes you, none the less).TeachersDumbledore: Always suggests that you should join the Order of the Pheonix.Professor McGonagall: Sometimes lets you come to class late because she knows you can pick up on the missed material easily.Professor Flitwick: Uses his magic to blow away paper airplanes the Slytherins throw at you.Professor Trelawney: Predicts a happy, yet tragically short life for you.Professor Snape: Despises you and you're fame.Filch: Found a love note written to you and keeps it underneath his pillow.
Take this quiz!








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</div>

Yeah. I'd say that's just about right.
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(no subject) [Oct. 7th, 2007|11:26 pm]
[Current Location |My room]
[mood | okay]
[music |SoCo]

So life is okay, I guess.

I was *thisclose* to quitting my job on Saturday. They've been sending my paychecks to Waterford for the past FOUR WEEKS!! A week or two is almost okay, but a month is a little not okay. And I've been working there for over a year now and I still make minimum wage. Oh, and everyone is mean to me and we're always understaffed and they don't pay me enough to make me stress out. So, if they don't have a paycheck for me on Friday, I'm quitting. End of story. I'm not working for free. (Today was a lot less stressful, don't get me wrong, but the fact remains that I don't have a paycheck.)

My homework is starting to pile up. But I'm almost halfway through Moby Dick. Because I'm so incredibly cool like that. As soon as I finish it I'm re-reading "Deathly Hallows."

I need to lose so much weight it's disgusting.

I haven't had a day off since my birthday... I'm kind of tired.

I feel like such an emo kid right now because I'm sitting here typing in my livejournal listening to "I Woke Up in a Car." Oh, and the Jack's Mannequin concert? That was cancelled, just to let you guys know. Not like I could have gone anyway because I'm seeing KELLY CLARKSON!!!!!

So I can't do the Disney College Program. Because I have to take a senior seminar next semester so that I don't die my senior year. So, as of right now, in Zack-style (:)) here's my ideal schedule for next semester:

MWF: SC102 1:00-1:50; Senior Sem with Comitini: 2:00-2:50
T/Th: Chaucer 9:30-10:45; History of India: 11:00-12:15; American Biz History: 12:30-1:45
Oh, and a lab Tuesday from 2:00-4:00 or something like that.
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(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2007|09:46 am]
So it's my birthday!!!

Wish me a happy one. :)
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Just want you to knowwwwww [Sep. 19th, 2007|04:16 pm]
[Current Location |Arnie]
[mood | frustrated]

So I just had tutor training and I have decided that the creator of the freshman writing program, Christine Ross, is a complete and total bitch. One girl said that the student should be able to go against what this one particular essay says, and Professor Ross just RIPPED her for a good ten minutes. It was not a pretty sight. She's this faux-artistic woman who was wearing entirely too much lime green and had her glasses down on her nose.

I don't know, I just despise the freshman english program here. For one, all of the students learn exactly the same thing in every class and are given the exact same assignments. Right now, they're doing these essays on this guy called Freire and his concept of education. Now, not having taken these english classes, I have never read this particular essay, but, from tutoring these kids, I feel like I know this essay better than many of my students who have read it multiple times! Anyway, my point is that this is COLLEGE. The teachers should be able to teach basically whatever they want. Hell, the teachers at NFA (well, some of them... -cough-Bierman-cough-) seem to have more freedom than the 100 level english classes here. I like Emerson's program much better: EN121, for example, was "Research Writing." The goal of this class was to write a research paper. The teacher can do so in whatever way he or she wanted to. And that's how it SHOULD be.

AND, the students in the 100 level classes only get grades at the midterm and at the final. Now, I'm all for no grades, but... this isn't really a no-grades kind of school. A lot of the students I've talked to have a passe attitude about this class because they feel like the essays aren't graded when, in reality, they are, they just don't find out their cumulative grade until the midterms. I don't really understand the philosophy and I think, if anyone needs grades, it's people in the freshman english classes. Most of these students are not english majors--- many of the english majors test out of EN101 and go right into EN102, or they (like I would have) don't even have to take english because of their AP scores. They're forcing these kids who don't like writing, who don't particularly care about writing, to read and write about these confusing topics they don't really want to learn about. The stuff in the EN100 levels is pretty intense and, if they go on to take higher-level english classes, it's not like anything they'll have to read ever again.

I guess I just get sad because these classes are scaring these students away from the study of literature. The stuff they're reading isn't literature, it's just... reading material. One girl, who I've seen four times, is an English major, but this class is making her not want to be one any more. And that's sad, you know? I love English, and I want other people to love it, too. I've had to work with this particular student a lot; hell, I had to show her how to analyze. But it was really fulfilling when she did finally understand how to analyze a passage.

All right, done with that rant. School is going well, and I had a second interview at Starbucks today, and I think I have the job.

Oh, and my birthday is Saturday. Leave me friendly comments. :)
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I'm really tired today. [Sep. 7th, 2007|02:07 pm]
I'm at "work" right now at the Learning Center and, while it's not particularly challenging work--- I am, after all, writing in my livejournal---I'm really tired today. I am SO sick of waking up at 7:00am every morning. But, by some crazy act of God, I am actually a week or two ahead in the readings for all of my classes.

I have a call in at Bob's tonight and I hope they don't take it just so I can take a nap and watch a Disney movie or something. But, I DO need the cash, so I'll try not to complain too much if I have to go in. $30 is $30, right?

I had a job interview yesterday, and I think it went well. Let's hope I get it, okay?

I'm such a boring person!
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I owe my journal a non-emo entry [Sep. 6th, 2007|09:30 am]
[Current Location |The Learning Center]

Classes have been going fairly well...

European Reformation: I love this class. It's interesting, and it's about religion--- and I love learning about religion because I understand it and it makes me feel smart. :) I had the teacher for HS112 last semester, and I still love her.

Epic Poetry: Pretty decent class. It's not too hard because, well, I've already read the "Iliad" and the "Odyssey." I don't forsee any problems in this class.

American Renaissance: I have this class with my adviser, who also taught Faulkner last semester, and he loves me. The reading material is definitely better than Faulkner so far, but I really, really am not looking forward to Moby Dick. Interesting tidbit: Lisa Gomez is in this class!

Performance Fundamentals: Ugh. It's speech class, with a bit of drama thrown in. She made us crawl around on the floor and pretend to be dogs for a minute. I am not paying $42,000 to pretend to be a dog.

Physical Science: Boring. Powerpoint teacher. Still, it looks like an easy A!

All in all, a decent enough schedule. I work a lot, but, well, I'm technically "working" right now. I'm ahead in all of my readings because, well, I'm a big-time loser like that.

Plan for the day: More class, and a Starbucks job fair!!! Wish me luck... I need to get out of the hell that is Bob's.
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